What does God want from me?

I keep trying to figure this out. I am currently doing a bible study with some friends whom I’ve studied with before, but we’re having a hard time connecting.  The study is incredible.  It is called Entrusted by Beth Moore and I just love her so far.  Where I’m struggling the most is that my home is not filled with Christ.  My husband is not a believer, which is fine, I knew that of him when I met him, had a baby with him and married him.  I made that choice and I love him.  This is not questioning my love or devotion to him, this is a struggle with my own commitment to Christ while also being committed to my marriage.

Biblically, God wants me to submit to my husband. Using the whole passage here for context:

Ephesians 5:21-33

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Here’s how I understand that before we get all fussy about it: Submission is compromise, a “pick your battles” kind of compromise.   I’ll be honest, my husband is an authority on certain things and I’m an authority on certain things and we rarely disagree on those things, but there is one thing that neither of us are an authority on and that is where I have issue with compromise and submission.

Submission is also a two-way street, as stated in the scripture, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” When he is not a believer, he can only submit to me with his free will. That is all I can ask for until God changes his heart.  In the meantime, I will surround myself with my faith and continue in his Word.  I will work on submitting to this man I’ve chosen and who has been chosen for me.

Final thought: My prayer for everyone is that God will give you a new heart!  Ezekiel 36:26 – I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.  I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.



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